Cupid Strikes!
by mysticalguardian135
Summary: Spongebob has a dream about Sandy to make him realize what his "true" feelings were of her.
1. Default Chapter

(The camera is pinned to the Spongebob residence)

The blow horn just rung, awakening Spongebob with an awkward face

Spongebob: Gary, I know I would normally say good morning to you, looking like Ronald McDonald, but last night I had a confusing dream.

Gary: Meow!

Spongebob: I'll tell you since you seem to be the cheapest psychiatrist down here. Well, I dreamt that I went to Sandy's house and proposed to her, awarding her with the grand acorn!"

Gary: Meow, Meoowww!

Spongebob: Sandy and I are like paper and pencil, but the thought of me being with her was never a thought that I had experienced!

Gary: Meow (and I can't see why you aren't categorized as "gay!")

Spongebob: I'm surprised that you're the one to talk! You move slower than than tires flat! You try making moves for a female and you'll end up in a hospital!

Gary: Meow, Meowwww, Meeeowwww (Instead of trying to make moves on females like Sandy, you're making relationships with people like Patrick!)

(scene ends)

(scene opens up inside the Krusty Krab's kitchen)

Spongebob: I need to focus on my job, not Sandy (thinking aloud, while his right hand is being burnt on the grill)! Ouch! Oh Sandy, I wish you were here to heal my wounds! What am I saying! Am I not going completely insane, or am I just sharing the truth to the world?

Squidward: Spongebob, quit fantasizing about "Texas Girl" Sandy, and start making those Krabby patties!

Spongebob: She may be from Texas, but her name is Sandy! Call her that from now on. How would you like it if someone miscalled you as a sea critter with many "testicles," but can't get a single female?

Squidward: Didn't mean to lower your girlfriend's self esteem! Look, I don't care about you and your relationship with a land critter, I just care about me! Now, get back to work. I'll need you over later at the front of my yard to help me with a tan, unless you're going to the rodeo with Sandy! You bet not be counting on a kiss, unless you fantasize her bowl as her lips! Haha!

Spongebob: I don't like-like Sandy, but she's my best friend! I would never develop a loving relationship with her.

Squidward: Well, I've always sensed that you loved Patrick! You two were always doing everything together! Perhaps, you two were feeding each other or even bathing each other! You two are some sick, gay bastards!

Spongebob: Look, I am not gay, nor am I in love! The only thing I can truly say I love is my pet, Gary. He was always there for me and a great pet to share dialogue about any topic, rather it be love or hatred.

Squidward: Don't tell Gary you love him, or he'll become a stray faster than Mr.Krabs can retrieve money! Anyways, he probably could attest to you having feelings for Sandy! I've been observing that you and Sandy shared great chemistry! What kind of karate do you and Sandy do…….sex?

Spongebob: Haha, very funny helium head! I hope your honeymoon with your clarinet was more exciting than your jokes!

(Mr.Krabs walks in, hearing some of the argument)

Mr. Krabs: What are my two money-makers rambling about? Unless you two aren't exchanging orders, I'd advice you to shut it or you're FIRED!

Squidward: Mr. Krabs, your fry cook here is frying more thoughts of Sandy, "The Texas Ranger," instead of those patties.

Mr. Krabs: Is this true Spongebob? I oughta make you walk the plank! I have no time to be a babysitter! I have to go count me money and bathe in the riches of green…….SO SHUT YA JIBBERISH, AND GET BACK TO WORK! Make me some money!

(scene ends)

(scene opens up at Sandy's place)

Sandy: So, how ya been Spongebob?

Spongebob: Not to swell Sandy. I have a question to ask you.

Sandy: Ask away!

Spongebob: You're my breast……I mean best friend right?

Sandy: Yea…..

Spongebob: I was wondering if you…you…..you (continuously says, saying it faster than the time before)

Sandy: Out with it Spongebob!

Spongebob: I'm not very great with speeches as important as these! I was wondering if you had dreams….feelings…..fantasies about me? About you liking me…….more than a friend?

Sandy: Spongebob, heck no! You're my best friend! We are like paper and pencil, but the thought of me starting a relationship with you, was nothing I've experienced!

Spongebob: You like me, don't you?

Sandy: Huh….no….why?

Spongebob: To honestly tell you, I like-liked you! I have shared compassion and love towards you like none other! You are my other half……my soul mate…..my EVERYTHING! I couldn't confess to others about feelings I only had for you! And besides, what you said about us being like paper and pencil but you wouldn't think of us starting a relationship, that's what I said this morning to Gary. I was realizing my feelings about you were feelings of love, and I'm thinking that that's what you're experiencing too about me!

Sandy: Oh Spongebob, that was very touching and more exciting than roping a wild Bronco….you expressed your feelings towards me like Shakessquirrel! That would've been something great to say a year ago…..when I was single.

Spongebob: Huh (sounding very confused, partially because of a broken heart and because of Sandy dating someone for a year)?

Sandy: I like-like you too, but I am going to have to deny your feelings for me.

Spongebob: If it's not too personal, who is it that you're going out with?

Sandy: This person doesn't really want me to tell anyone. But since I love you so much, I'll give you a hint.

Spongebob: Alright!

Sandy: The person I'm dating is not as smart as me. In fact, the person I'm dating probably has the IQ of a rock and only thinks of one thing!

Spongebob: Alright, thanks Sandy! I'll think on that hint on my way home! Let's just keep that affection I have for you, down under the crowd, ok?

Sandy: Ok……and sorry Spongebob for disappointing you!

Spongebob: That's alright….I'm better off single anyways! Well, bye Sandy!

Sandy: Bye Spongebob!

(scene ends)

(scene begins in Spongebob's house)

Spongebob: (thinking aloud to himself) Who would have the IQ of a rock and think of only one thing……no……not…….PATRICK! He's dumber than dumb and he only thinks of one thing……..nothing! Patrick is my best friend, but why would he steal someone I dearly love? Sandy and Patrick had me fooled for a while. They would be the ideal couple because no on would think of Sandy going out with Patrick because they are rarely seen in public together and they seem to share no chemistry what so ever! Alright Patrick, you decided to marry my love, huh? Well, didn't you vow to Sandy not to depart from her till death do you part…….why not make the ending sooner!

Gary: Meow?

Spongebob: Yes Gary, I will be killing Patrick tonight. We may have been best friends for a while, but when you cross the line of marrying the person I love, without me knowing nothing, you're asking for a death wish!

Gary: Meow (well, just know I will be notifying the police afterwards, you sick bastard! you must die)!


	2. Chapter 2

(scene opens up under Patrick's rock)

Spongebob: Hiya Patrick! Whatcha been up to lately?

Patrick: Who's there? Stand back or I'll…..I'll do something! As soon as I can think of that something….bu….but you just wait…..YOU!

Spongebob: Relax my big gob of gum, you! This is Spongebob! So Patrick...how are you?

Patrick: Besides sleepy…..umm…..umm……WHO ARE YOU!

Spongebob: Remember Patrick. My name's Spongbob! Come back to the big rock on Bikini Bottom! Do you read me? Come in Patrick!

Patrick: What……oh…..hi Spongebob! How are you?

Spongebob: (stands in shock) Whatever! So, my soon to be dead….I mean in bed friend, you wanna have a sleep over at my house?

Patrick: Spongebob….the apparent time appears to be 6:30 in the morning, due to the depiction of dawn. My dear friend, I believe that positioning me in your "juicy" pineapple house would be the wasting of time and energy….hypothetically!

Spongebob: Wah? Somebody must have dropped a "smart" pill in your drink!

Patrick: What happened? Who are you and what have you done with…….with…..with (saying continuously, slowing and lowering the tone each time till finally falling asleep)

Spongebob: This task was too easy. Patrick, you wish you were dumb enough to glue your eyelids to your forehead because you're not going to see that you're going to die.

(Spongebob slowly takes his jackknife releasing it, positioning himself to pierce Patrick in the heart, while Sandy is walking up to Spongebob's front door).

(scene closes from Patrick's house)

(scene opens at Spongebob's front door)

Sandy: (knocks on Spongebob's door, getting no answer) I wonder where my yellow friend has gone at (Sandy then hears a voice under Patrick's rock, sounding like Spongebob's)?

(scene ends)

(scene opens up in Patrick's home)

Sandy: Hi Sponge……………WHAT ARE YOU DOING! Why in the world do you have a jackknife out? Why do you have an evil grin on your face? And why in the world are you positioned on top of Patrick like that?

Spongebob: Oh……ummm……Sandy, Patrick and I are just playing…..kill the neighbor!

Sandy: I may have been born in a hot state, but my brain is not a frying egg! You're doing something you aren't supposed to! It's about 7:00 A.M. and you're playing a game that can wait later on today? Something is fishy……..and it's not Patrick's laundry!

Spongebob: You're the one to act shocked! Alright……well…..it's not a game! I am really going to kill Patrick!

Sandy: But…..FOR WHAT! You can't just go around killing everyone that you see. Well….maybe you're breath could kill a million…..but why Patrick?

Spongebob: Trying to act clueless I see!

Sandy: WHAT!

Spongebob: You remember that little conversation we had at your place? Well, I figured the person out!

Sandy: Well……so? What reason is that to kill Patrick?

Spongebob: PATRICK IS THE LOVER IN WHICH YOU PROCEEDED TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH! His IQ is like a rock because he can't even remember his OWN name sometimes and plus, all he thinks of is one thing………NOTHING! I truly love you and I won't even let a best friend tear our love apart!

Sandy: Wah! You are an idiot!

Spongebob: YOUR idiot, though! You two would be the ideal couple! You two are hardly ever seen together in public and you seem to not share any chemistry whatsoever!

Sandy: Then WHAT would make us an ideal couple?

Spongebob: You two would be an "unexpected" couple in which no one would ever think you two would ever go out……let alone get married! Did Patrick and you do something like Jennifer Lopez and her husband with the quick wedding?

Sandy: Alright……I'm confused! Look Spongebob…….Patrick is not my husband.

Spongebob: Than, who is!

Sandy: It's……it's……..MR. KRABS!

Spongebob: You're a terrible liar! You would never go out with my boss……let alone MARRY HIM! He likes Mrs. Puffs……..remember?

Sandy: I was Mrs. Puff………in disguise! I did that so we could pursue a relationship without nobody knowing! Especially you!

Spongebob: (in a state of shock) what about the riddle?

Sandy: Well, he only has one thing on his mind……..MONEY!

Spongebob: Liar…Patrick………TAKE THIS! (stabs Patrick in the heart)

Sandy: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!

Spongebob: Haha! Now what gives you the reason to lie about a relationship with a "deceased" person?

Sandy: But……..but…………but Spongebob…….my lover TRULY is Mr. Krabs!


End file.
